When We Try to Help but Still Feel Distant

Hey, my friend,

Have you ever shared your feelings with someone, hoping they would understand you, but instead they began giving advice right away?

It can feel frustrating when that happens, because in that moment, you were not searching for answers.

You just wanted someone to sit with you and comfort you.

And maybe there have been times when you tried very hard to help someone by giving ideas and plans, but they pulled away instead.

You wanted to support them, yet it did not feel right to them, and it left you wondering what went wrong.

Many of us have stood on both sides of this, my friend.

This happens because we fail to understand the difference between soothing and fixing.

Fixing tries to solve the problem and looks for steps and solutions. It can be wonderful when someone is ready for that kind of help.

Soothing is different, as it brings comfort. It makes someone feel safe and cared for before anything else.

And, people need them at different times.

When someone is hurting, advice can feel too loud to them.

Hence, they may need care first, so their heart can settle before their mind can think about solutions.

And when someone is ready to move forward, comfort alone may not be enough. That is why it is crucial to understand what kind of care is needed at the moment.

The good thing is that we can understand the need just by simply asking.

You can say, Would you like me to listen and care for you, or would you like help finding a solution.

Asking this not only opens the door to understanding but also shows respect.

It gives the other person a choice, and it lets them know you are there in the way they need.

And when someone asks you that question, you can answer with honesty.

You can let them in, instead of holding everything on your own.

Doing this will not only help you but also your relationship with that person.

Thank you for reading today, my friend.

I hope this brings a bit of clarity to your heart.

Before you go, try asking someone this question the next time they come to you with something heavy.

See how it changes the conversation. And if you feel comfortable, tell me how it went. I would love to hear from you.

Wishing you a wonderful, joyous, and peaceful day ahead, my friend.

That is it for today, and see you tomorrow.

Take care,
Prasad Mairale
Petals of Positivity 🌸