Caught in a Defensive Loop?

Hey, my friend

Sometimes, when a conversation with someone you care about gets tense, words can feel sharper than they actually are.

That sudden rush of thoughts often comes from caring too much and wanting to be understood.

It is like your brain is trying to protect both yourself and the connection at the same time, even if it makes things harder for a moment.

A lot of the time, that feeling appears because something in what the other person said touches on old experiences or worries you have carried.

Other times, it is just the way stress and fatigue make it harder to find the right words.

Both happen, and both are natural, hence you do not have to judge yourself for it, my friend.

And remember that feeling defensive does not mean the relationship is failing or that the other person does not care.

That rush shows how much the conversation matters to you.

Your thoughts may speed up, and words can come out differently than you intended.

Those reactions are normal, and they show that both hearts are present and the connection is alive.

It’s just that caring so much can make it harder to stay calm, and sometimes old worries or the stress of the day make it even more difficult to find the right words.

But one thing to watch out for is that sometimes, that rush can push you close to the edge between explaining yourself and becoming defensive to prove a point.

And it is important to remember that they are not the same.

My friend, explaining yourself comes from wanting the other person to understand you and your feelings.

While defensiveness comes from the unhealthy need to be “right,” even when you’re not.

Hence, crossing that line can make the connection you’ve with them feel distant.

Therefore, the next time you feel that edge rising, tell yourself, “I want to share to be understood, not win.”

And let that guide your words so the conversation stays connected and both of you feel heard.

I hope you’ll keep that in mind.

Wishing you a blessed, wonderful, and peaceful day and weekend ahead.

That is it for today, and see you on Monday.

Take care,
Prasad Mairale
Petals of Positivity 🌸